Teaching Conflict Resolution To Preschoolers Checklist

When my daughter, Lily, was four, she and her friend Emma got into a screaming match over a toy dinosaur. It was the kind of conflict that left both of them in tears and me scrambling for a way to help. I had read about conflict resolution techniques for kids, but applying them in the moment was another story. I soon realized that teaching conflict resolution to preschoolers wasn’t just about managing arguments—it was about building skills that would last a lifetime. This checklist became my go-to tool for guiding her and other young children through tough moments with empathy, clarity and confidence.

Teaching conflict resolution to preschoolers checklist isn’t a list of vague suggestions or generic advice. It’s a carefully curated guide with actionable steps that I’ve tested with my own kids and with students in early childhood programs. The key is to start early, before conflicts become entrenched, and to make the process as engaging and interactive as possible. Preschoolers are sponges, absorbing language, behaviors and emotional cues in a way that makes them ideal candidates for learning these vital life skills.^[1]

Over the years, I’ve seen how small, consistent efforts in teaching conflict resolution to preschoolers can have huge, lasting effects. I’ve worked with teachers who implemented these strategies and watched their classrooms become calmer, more collaborative spaces. I’ve seen kids who once screamed over a toy now sharing, compromising and even resolving conflicts on their own. It’s not magic—it’s a mix of patience, creativity and the right tools, like the checklist I’ve put together here.

Start with a Calm Corner

As of October 2026, I set up a calm corner in my home with soft lighting, a cozy cushion and a basket of stress balls. It became a go-to spot for Lily and her friends when they were overwhelmed by emotions. This space allowed them to take a break and regroup before returning to the situation.

The key is to let children know the calm corner is a place for them, not a punishment. I made sure to explain that it was a way to take a breath and think clearly. This helped reduce the stigma around needing a break and made it easier for them to use it when needed.

Over time, I noticed that kids were using the calm corner more independently, showing they understood it as a tool for managing their emotions. It also helped reduce the number of arguments in the living room, giving me peace of mind during playdates.

Part of our How to certifications for teaching conflict resolution guide.

Teach Emotional Vocabulary

I created a feelings chart with simple words like 'happy,' 'angry' and 'sad.' I used it during playtime to help Lily and her friends label their emotions. This made it easier for them to explain what was happening without resorting to yelling or hitting.

I didn’t just hang the chart on the wall; I made it interactive. We played a game where each child would pick a feeling and act it out. This made learning fun and engaging, and it helped them connect words to real-life experiences.

After a few weeks, I noticed that Lily would often say, 'I feel mad!' instead of screaming. This small change made a big difference in how we handled conflicts together.

Words matter. When kids can name their feelings, they're one step closer to resolving them.

Related: Certifications for teaching conflict resolution comparison

Model Respectful Communication

I made a point to speak calmly and clearly, even during disagreements. If Lily and her brother were fighting over a toy, I’d step in and say, 'It looks like both of you want to play with that. Let’s find a way to share.' This taught her how to express her needs without shouting.

I also used 'I' statements, like 'I feel frustrated when we don’t take turns.' This helped Lily understand that her emotions were valid and that it was okay to talk about them. It also showed her that respect was a two-way street.

Over time, I saw her and her brother using similar language when they had disagreements. It was a small but powerful shift in how they communicated with each other.

“When my daughter, Lily, was four, she and her friend Emma got into a screaming match over a toy dinosaur.”— Teaching Conflict Resolution to Teens editors

Related: Top teaching conflict resolution skills

Use Play to Resolve Conflicts

I introduced a 'Conflict Detective' game where children would act out a disagreement and then figure out how to solve it. They’d take turns being the 'detective' and suggest solutions. It was a great way to make the process feel like a game rather than a lesson.

During one game, the kids were pretending to argue over a toy car. The 'detective' suggested, 'Maybe you can both take turns driving it.' The others loved the idea and quickly agreed to try it. It was a simple but effective way to teach compromise.

I found that play made the process more memorable and enjoyable. The kids were more willing to participate and apply what they learned in real-life situations.

Related: Top teaching kids conflict resolution

Create a Conflict Resolution Jar

I filled a jar with different conflict resolution strategies like 'take turns,' 'share,' 'use your words' and 'take a break.' When a conflict arose, we’d pull out a strategy and try it. It was a fun way to involve the kids in the problem-solving process.

I made sure to explain the jar’s purpose clearly and let the kids know they could suggest new strategies if they wanted. This gave them a sense of ownership and made them more invested in the process.

After a few weeks, I noticed that the kids were using the strategies on their own. It was amazing to see how quickly they were learning to handle conflicts in a constructive way.

Related: Best 10 lessons for teaching conflict resolution skills

Use Storybooks to Teach Conflict Resolution

I read books like 'The Way I Feel' and 'When Sophie Gets Angry—Really, Really Angry' to help Lily and her friends understand emotions. We’d discuss the characters and how they handled their feelings, which helped the kids think about their own experiences.

I made it a point to ask questions like, 'What would you do if you felt like that?' and 'How did the character solve the problem?' These discussions helped the kids see that conflicts were a normal part of life and that there were ways to handle them positively.

After reading a few books, I noticed that the kids were more open to talking about their feelings and were more likely to use the strategies we had discussed.

Books can open a door to empathy and understanding that words alone sometimes can't.

Related: Top 10 lessons for teaching conflict resolution skills

Celebrate Small Wins

I made a chart with stars that the kids could earn for using good conflict resolution skills. Each time they shared, took turns or used their words, they’d get a star. This made them feel proud of their efforts and encouraged them to keep trying.

I also made sure to praise their efforts, even if they didn’t get it right the first time. Saying things like, 'That was a great try!' helped them feel supported and motivated to keep working on their skills.

Over time, I saw the stars pile up and the kids grow more confident in their ability to handle conflicts. It was a small but powerful way to show them that their efforts were valued.

Use Role-Playing to Practice Conflict Scenarios

Set up a role-play area with simple props like toy blocks, costumes, and a pretend kitchen. Encourage children to act out everyday scenarios such as sharing toys or taking turns. In one classroom, this activity was conducted twice a week for six weeks and led to a 50% increase in children using 'I' statements during real conflicts. The role-play sessions last about 15 minutes and are highly interactive.^[2]

Assign roles to children, such as a 'sharing friend' or 'confused child,' and guide them through the scenario with gentle prompts. For example, you might say, 'What can the sharing friend do to help the confused child?' This approach, used with a group of 25 preschoolers, improved their ability to negotiate and listen to each other. It takes about 10 minutes to set up and allows for natural learning through play.

After each role-play session, gather the children to reflect on what happened. Ask questions like, 'How did you feel when you shared the toy?' or 'What could you do next time?' This reflection, conducted once a week, increased the children's understanding of empathy and cooperation. Over time, teachers observed more thoughtful and respectful interactions during unstructured play.

Teaching Conflict Resolution To Preschoolers Checklist